In 2014 Laura Steelman was experiencing what had become typical Christmas malaise of an American woman in her mid-40s.
The long lines at postal offices, and crowds at department stores, the large full mall parking lots, and heavy traffic from before thanksgiving to after Christmas Eve, year after year, finally took its toll on the holiday spirit.
The Norman Rockwell and Jimmy Stewart (who some of you say, who?!) images of Christmas were the prevailing view. (Charles Dicken’s Scrooge was a one off); who would think negatively at Christmas time?
Slowly the nation started embracing alternate images. We had the Grinch who Stole Christmas and Home Alone and Christmas Vacation, and many others.
One day standing in a postal line during early December, not even to mail Christmas packages no less! Such a pain in my holiday season ass it had all become.
One day I said to myself, mumbling in front of a surly unsuspecting clerk, “fuck off”. About that same time a cheery person entered the store with his gleeful Ho Ho Ho. I guess he was speaking to everyone within earshot.
Haza! My Christmas pillow was born. Ho Ho Ho / Fuck Off
The season clearly offers plenty of opportunities for both attitudes, and, for the two disparate sentiments to share a pillow —was awesomeness.
Thus was born DirtyPillowTalk.
When Christmas passed it became clear the same sentiment might apply to a love relationship. Poof! The Valentine/Bridal pillow was born: Love You / Fuck You. So appropriate during those bridezilla moments which frequent any engagement period or almost any relationship in any state or phase.
Following that, enter the work relationship pillow Dumbass / Fucking Genius. I’m sure we all know which side the employee thinks is attributable to his / her efforts.
As a child I listened to the album the Big Bambu by Cheech and Chong. It was my favorite album for years. My sister and I listened to the tracks on that album over and over. We didn’t understand it all but it made us laugh Sister Mary Elephant … Class, … class, class!!! Shut up!!!! Or the game show host segment … introducing the next guest as a BMF. We had no idea what that was but we loved the track. Laughed every time. Now that I know what it means, it seemed so appropriate to have it on a pillow. Being from Texas I only have it in cowhide orange and it only applies to attorneys but yet, if you check those two boxes … we’ve got a pillow for you.
As things were being developed I’m certain someone got under my skin somewhere … Hong Kong cabbie turning in front of perilously close oncoming traffic, a Vietnamese rickshaw driver not looking straight ahead at all times on the roadway, a merchant vendor in an obscure Chinese market pretending not to see or speak English both of which were false… I know in some corner of the fucking world some fucker forced me to say Go Fuck Yourself! which no doubt made me feel better … hence the smiley face on the opposite side of my pillow.
And let’s not forget the church inspired Crap / Holy Fuck.
There’s lots more back story to these pillows. Look here again down the line for random updates!
Fucking way!